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My eyes roamed over the grid of Zoom boxes as I slumped back in my mesh roller chair, watching my sweet clients scribble away in their journals. 

We were fifteen minutes into our quarterly review workshop, where I’d opened with the question, “What’s one lesson you’ve learned this year that you want to take with you into the future?” 

When the timer dinged, we went around the room, each sharing one “a-ha” lesson. 

The screen filled with a smiling, sunlit woman, her bright brown curls bouncing sweetly as she said, “I’m learning that I get more done when I have less to do.” 

The group let out a muted chorus of ooohs and aaahs. 

This sparkly gem was gifted to us by my client, Annie Robershaw, founder of Delightfully Free, a community for childfree women.

I’ve watched Annie battle with hyper-productivity for years. 

Like most of us, Annie is super smart and holds a big vision for her future. Her ideas are inspired by her desire to serve. But most days, her desire to serve outweighs her capacity to get shit done. That’s why Annie’s comment was so profound. 

I get more done when I have less to do.

It’s like setting the cruise control to a leisurely 50 mph instead of driving as fast as possible to reach your next destination. You might cover less distance, but you’ll save on gas and have more time to appreciate the views!

When I have a lot to do, I spend my days in a frenzy of frenetic activity. My body is being pulled in seven different directions. No matter how much I get done, I feel incomplete. On my challenging days, I feel incapable. On my worst days, I feel like a total fraud. 

On these bad days, I ask myself, “If doing so much makes you feel so bad, then why not try doing less?”

Great question, Maegan! Probably because doing less goes against every thread woven into the tapestry of your soul since you were a wee babe.*

We’ve been indoctrinated to believe our value is based on our productivity. 

What do we have to show for our efforts? How can we prove to everyone around us that we’re sufficiently busy? This slippery slope leaves many of us on the receiving end of an infinite to-do list full of tasks that don’t really matter. 

In Deep Work, one of my favorite business books, Cal Newport writes about how “busyness has become a proxy for productivity.” 

He writes, “In the absence of clear indicators of what it means to be productive and valuable in their jobs, many knowledge workers [that’s you!] turn back toward an industrial indicator of productivity: doing lots of stuff in a visible manner.”

Because we haven’t defined, within ourselves, what it means to be productive and valuable, we’re left to fill in the gaps with visible busy work that makes other people say, “Oh wow, look at them, they’re so busy!” 

This praise is usually followed by quiet clapping and impressed nods. 

When Annie said she gets more done when she has less to do, she was opting out of the “busyness as a proxy for productivity” narrative. 

To be clear, Annie didn’t arrive here lightly. She was able to opt out because she’s done the deep work of connecting to the part of herself that knows what she values and desires. 

When we release ourselves from the clutch of productivity, we have space to examine our desires and ideas with more patience, depth, and loving attention. From that place, we can opt out of the systems that keep us running on empty and opt in to a life of depth, patience, and meaningful contribution. 

Of course, this isn’t an easy process. 

As Newport wisely shares, “The deep life, of course, is not for everybody. It requires hard work and drastic changes to your habits. For many, there’s a comfort in the artificial busyness of rapid e-mail messaging and social media posturing, while the deep life demands that you leave much of that behind. But if you’re willing to sidestep these comforts and fears and instead struggle to deploy your mind to its fullest capacity to create things that matter, then you’ll discover, as others have before you, that depth generates a life rich with productivity and meaning.”

To be clear, I want you to be productive! 

I know, deep in my bones, that you have work inside of you that needs to be shared with the world, and the only way to share the work is to do the work. 

Productivity isn’t the enemy; self-sacrificing in service of productivity is the enemy. 

When we buy into the narrative that we must do more to prove we’re worthy, we turn off the part of ourselves that knows our limits. When we say yes to more projects, more clients, and more expectations, we’re purchasing a one-way ticket to burnout. 

And guess what? All those people we think we’re helping? The only thing we’re giving them is the leftover scraps of ourselves, shards of our gifts that tease and taunt but never fully embody the depth of our wisdom. 

If you want to get more done without self-sacrifice and shoddy results, you must commit to doing less work. 

Which, again, is not easy. 

But for me, it is the only way forward. 

* Shout-out to another of my magical clients, Emy Tafelski, for introducing me to her concept of “weaving threads into the tapestry of our souls.” Emy helps women break free from the box that society put them in, ignite their souls, and finally figure out who the f*ck they really are. She helps people find their way back to their essence, unweaving threads that no longer serve them and leading them straight to discovering their true authentic power. Check her out here if you’re ready to ignite your soul and/or join her free 5-day Soulful Spark Challenge! 

I want to give one more shoutout to Annie Robershaw for sharing her wisdom and inspiring me to write this email. If you’re a childfree woman craving more freedom and community, do yourself the biggest favor and check out Delightfully Free! You can also click here to download her free guided meditation, Dare to Dream.