This blog was originally sent as an email to my subscribers on November 18, 2022. This is an archive, so it’s possible some links are missing or expired. If you want me to deliver these emails directly to your inbox, click here to join my email list.
Subject: my first time
Last week, I went to a concert by myself.
One of my favorite bands was playing a small venue here in Portland. I really wanted to go, but I didn’t want to go with someone who wasn’t a fan.
I knew the show was going to be upbeat and fun. I wanted to be fully present for the experience; something I knew wouldn’t be possible if a well-meaning loved one joined me “just so you don’t have to go alone”.
My solo-inspiration sparked after seeing this Reductress article on my Instagram feed…
To be clear, I’m not a novice when it comes to doing things alone.
I’ve been a fan of solo-outings for decades. Taking myself to dinner, going to a movie, treating myself to a quiet weekend at a nice hotel, I’m all about some delicious solo-time!
But this felt… different.
“Just you?”
The bearded man at the door cocked an inquisitive brow as he scanned my ticket, looking behind my shoulder to see if my companion was close behind.
“Yep, just me!” I said, maybe trying a little too hard to stifle the middle-school awkwardness I sometimes always feel when challenging myself to try new things.
He narrowed his eyes, considering me before nodding slowly in approval. “That’s cool. Enjoy the show!”
I felt relieved. I think I was concerned he was going to turn me away for being alone, like I might’ve been in trouble for sneaking out without adult supervision.
My discomfort had to do with concerts feeling inherently social.
If you want to be close to the stage (which I did), you’re standing on the floor for ages waiting for the show to start, surrounded by people who are there with other people. And while that kind of close contact makes for spectacular eavesdropping, it can also make you feel like a bit of a creeper.
Lucky for me, I quickly realized that I didn’t actually give a shit!
Once I released my anxiety and embraced the magic of being surrounded by a crowd of happy strangers, I settled into my surroundings and started having fun.
I observed people, said hello to my neighbors (unusual behavior for my introverted self 😂), and when the music started, I just enjoyed it… never once worrying if my tag-alongs were having a good time! Hallelujah!
It didn’t matter that I was alone.
Honestly, it felt like a breath of fresh air to be in a space where no one knew me or really even cared about my presence. It was refreshing to be absorbed in my own experience, to be doing something new and exciting that was just for me.
The next day, as I was trying to figure out how to turn this special experience into an email for all of you ( 😂), I recognized a powerful parallel that made a perfect segue for this email!
Many of my Next-Level Therapist clients tell me they decided to work with me because no one in their community was interested in next-level business growth. They tell me they felt isolated, alone, and terrified of voicing their creative ideas because they didn’t want to be shamed by their community.
That’s exactly how I felt about this concert!
I didn’t know anyone who wanted to listen to this band or go to a concert that started at 9:30pm on a Wednesday. I was -this close- to either (a) dragging someone along who didn’t really want to be there or (b) not going at all.
It’s kind of like when we try to convince a business friend to do a training with us (even if they’re not super into it) or when we don’t act on our ideas because no one else in our community is doing it. Usually, we’re too afraid to be the person who goes against the grain and DOES IT ANYWAYS… even though “doing it anyways” is where the magic happens 97% of the time.
So, now I’m wondering, what are you not doing because you don’t want to do it alone? What are you not doing because you’re afraid of the consequences of going against the grain?
Maybe it’s something personal, maybe it’s something professional—either way, I’d love to hear about it. Hit reply and bear your soul to me, please and thank you.
The concert was honestly one of the best I’ve ever been to. It felt so good to be there, and it recharged some deeply personal battery that I didn’t even realize needed charging.
Liberating myself from social expectations never fails to open up new channels of creativity and inspiration in my life and business. I hope this email rubs up against some part of you that’s ready to go against the grain and do something for the very first time.
Talk soon,
Maegan
