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Subject: the pep talk I’m giving myself this week
Chirp-chirp-chirp-cheeeeee! Chirp-chirp-chirp-cheeeeee!
That’s the sound of my daily 5am wake-up call courtesy of the cute lil’ bird squatting in the laurel bush outside my bedroom window.
I don’t mind waking up early, but her morning song is more fire alarm reverberating in a metal building than a pleasant woodland melody.
On Monday, her song jolted me awake from a series of stress dreams in which I was either:
(A) running late,
(B) searching for something I couldn’t find,
(C) trying to convince someone to listen to me, or
(D) ALL OF THE ABOVE
Part of me was grateful for the wake-up call, and part of me was full of FURY — that special flavor of rage that overtakes you when startled out of a vulnerable state of slumber. Just me??
Anyway, it was Monday morning after a week off for my birthday. My first week off to rest and relax since December. This year has been mega challenging for me. We recently returned from almost three months on the East Coast, supporting my husband’s parents after a series of medical crises turned their lives upside down.
We drove across the country — a long, six-day journey from Oregon to Virginia — so our elderly dog could come with us.
The long days on the road gave me time to reflect on the privilege of being self-employed and working virtually. Jonathan and I have intentionally created a life liberated from the constraints of 9-to-5 employment, and here was an opportunity to put that privilege to good use.
It was an honor to support them, and it was exhausting.
So, my birthday week of rest and relaxation was much needed… but I put too much pressure on the week to recharge my depleted batteries.
I had a vision of waking up Monday morning feeling 100% recharged.
It seemed like a reasonable expectation…
I mean, my week was a total delight! I only did things I wanted to do, took it slow, did just enough socializing to warm my heart without wearing me out, and felt my spark slowly sputtering back to life. Success!
I *wanted* to be back at 100% on Monday morning because I’ve missed being fully immersed and connected to my work.
But alas, feeling recharged and raring to go was not in the cards for me this week. (That’s true metaphorically and literally. The oracle cards I pulled on Monday said to expect less spark and more lethargy this week! Annoying.)
To add insult to injury…
I’ve found myself fantasizing a lot lately about shutting down my businesses and getting a job working for someone else.
OH NO! DANGER SIGN!
To be clear, I think it’s totally healthy to have an escape fantasy.
Imagining a quiet life working at the library, baking croissants, or working with a dream team of humans doing work you love (but aren’t responsible for) is a good way to let off some steam when the pressure of running your business feels like too much.
But there is a tipping point when the escape fantasy stops letting off steam and starts pulling you deeper and deeper into the abyss — a scary place with no wifi signal where no one cares about your work and there’s NO HOPE FOR YOUR FUTUUUUUUREEEE!
Wowza. That got dark real quick.
I’m sharing this because I have a feeling you have your own version of The Abyss and know what it’s like to feel stuck in low power mode, even when all you want is to get back to your creative, motivated, passionate self.
Many of my friends and clients are feeling similarly.
>> “Nothing is working and I feel like a loser.”
>> “Why am I not getting more new clients? I’m starting to panic!”
>> “Is it even worth trying when the robots are taking over anyway?”
All valid feelings and questions. And this week, I’m in it with you.
Here’s the pep talk I’m giving myself this week…
Hey, you. You’re really tired right now. The world is on fire. You’re living through a polycrisis. The landscape is changing so rapidly it’s hard to keep pace. YOU are changing so rapidly it’s hard to keep pace! You’re living through a wild moment of personal, collective, and environmental transformation — because, don’t forget, you + other people + the land are all connected. You don’t need to figure it out right now. You don’t even need to feel motivated and energized right now. Just keep showing up with honesty and invite others to be real with you in return. Pause anything that feels draining. No one will care, seriously. Do the bare minimum. Buy yourself some flowers. Plant something in the garden. Water them. Watch them grow. Give someone a hug. Be nice to people. Take a nap. Go for a walk. Dance. Ask the plants to tell you what to do next. Enjoy the moments when you have energy and feel connected to your work. And stop making it a problem when you don’t. Take a deep breath. All is well.
If you’re also riding the struggle bus on your way to The Abyss this week, I hope these words resonate for you. And if you’re in a great place right now, GREAT. We need you to hold down the fort of hopefulness and possibility while we descend into the darkness for a minute. We’ll return the favor when we inevitably swap positions in a few weeks. 😉
I’d really love to know where you’re at right now.
Hit reply and share which of the following is true for you:
- I’m on the struggle bus, too.
- I’m feeling great right now.
You can copy/paste whichever feels more true for you. It’ll take 3 seconds and make me feel REALLY GOOD. And don’t you want to make me feel good????????
I jest. But for real, let me know what’s up for you.
Life is better when we’re connected to each other.
With love and solidarity,
Maegan
P.S. I’m sending this newsletter without proofreading because I can’t be bothered today. 🤷♀️ Let my typos remind you that I am human and no robots were involved in the making of this email.
